Sunday, January 23, 2011

Why You Don’t Get What You Want: You’re Conflicted

Here’s my big message for you: When you send out a wish, you move God’s Universe to action.
What Do You Want?
       Once upon a time, my firstborn son was a 3-month-old baby.
On one particular day I can never forget, at around 3 in the morning, this baby began to cry and he wouldn’t stop.
He was screaming his head off, “Waaaaaaa!”
       Being first-time parents, we were horrified. We didn’t know what to do. We’ve never experienced this before.
       We gave him milk. He still cried, “Waaaaaaa!”
       We tried to make him burp. He still cried, “Waaaaaaa!”
       We rubbed aceite de mansanilla on his tummy. He still cried, “Waaaaaaa!”
       We sang him a lullaby. He still cried, “Waaaaaaa!”
       We cradled him on our arms. He still cried, “Waaaaaaa!”
       After thirty minutes of non-stop crying, I was totally desperate.
       I remember kneeling in front of the crib, and asking, no, begging, imploring, “Baby, please… I don’t know what to do anymore. Please tell me what you want. Just tell me what you want. And I’ll give it to you!”
       Do you know what my baby said?
The Universe On Its Knees
       Why tell you this story?
       To tell you that this is a perfect picture of what’s happening today: That the entire universe is bending over, on its knees, at your feet, asking, begging, imploring every human being, “What do you want? I’ll give it to you.”
       And what do we say?
       We don’t know what we want.
       Sure, we have all sorts of wishes in our hearts.
       But they’re fuzzy.
       They’re all a blur.
       They’re not clear.
       Here’s what I realized: The universe doesn’t respond to fuzziness. The universe responds only to clarity.
       Are you clear with what you want?
Perhaps You’re Conflicted
Are you conflicted?
There are many reasons why a person can be conflicted.
It’s possible that you’re wishing for A.
But you’re also wishing for B.
But A and B are conflicted!
Let me give you an example:
Years ago, I was a poor missionary.
Wish A: I wished to remain a missionary.
But I also wished to be a millionaire (Wish B).
In my mind, I couldn’t reconcile Wish A with Wish B. I felt they were a contradictory of terms.
Thus, my wish was fuzzy.
Because of this, I remained poor.
But one day, I was able to reconcile in my mind that I could become a millionaire missionary. 
Suddenly, everything clicked.
The conflict was gone.
My wish was clear.
       And my businesses grew—even as I continued to serve God in my missionary work.
The More Common Conflict
Here’s another example of conflict:
A part of you wishes for A.
But another part of you is totally afraid of A!
That’s more common than you think.
Why does that happen?
Because wishes are unfamiliar territory.
And what is unfamiliar is scary!
Our present condition—no matter how painful—is at least familiar. At least, you know it’s painful.
A part of you doesn’t want to fulfill your wish.
Because of fear!
Wishing For Marriage?
Let me give you an example.
I’ve met a lot of singles who want to get married.
But these same singles are also afraid of getting married.
They’re afraid of the process of getting married.
They’re afraid of a possible rejection in courtship;
They’re afraid of a broken heart;
They’re afraid of the problems of married life;
They’re afraid of the burdens of parenthood;
They’re afraid of the loss of freedom of family life.
No wonder they’re still single!
Wishing For Money?
Here’s another more common example…
A lot of people want to get rich.
But these same people are also afraid of becoming rich.
They’re afraid of becoming greedy. 
They’re afraid of going to Hell.
They’re afraid of losing their friends.
They’re afraid of the responsibilities that come with wealth.
They’re afraid of the complexity of becoming rich.
No wonder they’re not rich.
Wishing For Health?
Let me give you an extreme example.
I met a woman who had cancer.
She wanted me to pray for her healing.
But as I prayed for, I sensed that she really liked being sick.
So I sat down and listened to her story.
Here’s what I learned…
From the day she got married, her husband was a bum. 
Not only that, all her siblings were jobless. 
She was the captain of two households. 
She was the breadwinner of two families. 
She was the servant of everyone. 
For the past 40+ years of her life, everyone depended on her.
But when she got sick with cancer, everything changed.
Overnight, everyone had to stand on their own two feet. 
And for the first time in her life, instead of serving others, others were serving her.
       Sickness was her way to escape.
       My suspicion? Subconsciously, she probablywished her sickness to reality.
       I repeat: Unless your wish is clear of conflicts, your wish isn’t powerful.
Clear The Conflicts
My final example.
Picture a guy who comes to me and says, “Brother Bo, we want to invite you to speak to our company. But there’s a slight problem.”
I ask, “What’s the problem?”
He answers, “We’re not sure if we really want you to speak in our company. I mean, there are many other good speakers out there too. What do you think? Should we invite you?”
I ask him, “If you’re not sure of inviting me, why are you talking to me?”
He scratches his head and says, “I don’t know.”
       This is a crazy example.
       But that’s exactly how crazy it is when people wish.
They’re not sure. They’re fuzzy. They’re conflicted.
A wish is an order sent out to the universe—but many of us have been sending out confused, conflicted, corrupted, chaotic, crazy orders.
No wonder you’re not getting what you’re wishing for!
       The Bible says, Ask, and you will receive; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. (Matthew 7:7)
Get A Grip!
       When I was a small boy, I loved Peanut Butter.
       Because my hands were small, I couldn’t open the Peanut Butters jars by myself. So I asked my sisters to open them.
       But as I grew taller and my hands grew bigger, I still couldn’t open the jars. But all my sisters could!
       I felt embarrassed.
       Because they were girls and I was a boy.
       And then one day, I realized why I couldn’t open the Peanut Butter jars: I had sweaty palms and my sisters had dry palms.
       I had enough strength in my hands. 
But it was my grip that was oily.
Friend, you have enough strength to open the jar of success.
Your have enough talents. 
Enough gifts. 
Enough intelligence.
But this may be your problem: Your grip is slipping.
You don’t have a grip of what you really want in life.
You’re fuzzy about what you really want in life.
Here’s the truth: If you really want something, and if you have a solid grip on what you want, and are totally sure of what you want, you’ll climb walls, move mountains, cross rivers, swim oceans—just to get what you really want.
The reason why you don’t get what you want is because you’re confused.
How can you get a grip on what you really want?
By writing down your wishes and praying for them everyday.
That’s why we give you the Novena To God’s Love. (It’s a small Novena booklet I made where you write your 7 dreams. We give this to anyone who visits the Feast, our weekly gathering. For more information, email Annie at
The Power Of Wishing In My Life
       Some 15 years ago, I came home from a prayer meeting, totally inspired. I remember coming home skipping and dancing.
       That day, I was struck by a verse in the bible that hit me like a bolt of lightning. The verse was Deuteronomy 30:1: “I have now given you choice between blessing and curse…”
       For the longest time, I always thought that blessings and curses fell from the sky. I always thought we had no control over those things.
       But there it was, staring me in the Bible.
       Can I really choose blessings for my life?
       I decided to try.
       I sat down and started writing my dreams. My wishes!
I started writing at 10pm. 
I finished writing at 3am.
I filled up 15 pages of what I wanted to happen in my life. 
       I called it my Dreambook.
       I wrote there that I would be the greatest husband my future wife can ever have.  I even wrote details. I wrote that I’d kiss my wife 7 times a day. I wrote that I’d have romantic dates with her at last once a week.
       I wrote that I would be the greatest father my kids can ever have. I wrote that no matter how busy I got, I’d play with them everyday.
       I also wrote dreams for my ministry.
       I wrote that I would one day become a best-selling author.
       I laughed when I wrote that down.
       Because when I was in college, I had a subject called English 103—an essay-writing subject. And every essay I submitted to the professor returned to me with a big letter F.
       Believe me, F didn’t mean Fantastic or Fabulous.
       I wasn’t a good writer.
       But I wrote my wish that one day, I would become a best-selling author.
       I wrote that I would have a TV show and Radio program.
       I wrote that I would live in anawim, our ministry for the poor.
It wrote it with a lot of details…
“I’m living in Anawim. I live in a lovely bahay kubo (grass hut). When I stand at the porch of my bahay kubo, and I look at the right, I see a rice field. When I look in front of me, I see a fishpond. When I look behind me, I see a coconut tree.”
Here’s my big secret:
I didn’t only write my dream.
Every morning, as part of my prayers, I’d get my 15-page dreambook and read it.
Why? To strengthen my grip on what I really wanted in life.
My Wishes Have Come True
I wrote my 15-page dream book almost 15 years ago.
Do you know what has happened so far?
Almost everything I wrote down has come true.
       I’m now married with 2 boys.
       And yes, for the past 12 years, I’ve brought out my wife on a romantic date at least once a week. For the past 12 years, we’ve enjoyed a fantastic relationship. In fact, in one of those romantic dates, in the middle of desert, she held my hand, looked me in the eye, and said, “Bo, you’re a great husband.”
       I felt my heart had wings.
       I wanted to tell her, “That’s in page 3, paragraph 4.”
       I also play with my kids everyday.
       And yes, I did become a best-selling author.
       So far, I’ve written 21 books!
And yes, we do have a TV show and Radio show, broadcasting God’s Love to the world.
And Anawim?
Let me tell you what happened.
One night, when we tucked all the Lolas and Lolos to bed, the guy in charge of building our houses there told me, “Brother Bo, you can now sleep in your own hut.”
I walked to my hut, stepped on the porch, and began to cry.
Why? Because when I looked at my right, I saw a rice field.
When I looked in front of me, I saw a fishpond.
When I looked behind the nipa hut, I saw a coconut tree.
I cried because a few years ago, these were just words on paper. Now, they were reality.
You’re more powerful than you think you are!
Because your wishes are powerful.
Friend, let me say it again: When you send out a wish, you move the universe to action. 
Why We Pray Repeatedly
       The Bible says that if two or three agree on anything, it shall be done according to what you have asked for.
       Which reminds me about a letter I received from Joseph…
       Dear Brother Bo,
There are many things I don’t understand about prayer.
For example, why should I ask God repeatedly? 
Didn’t He hear me the first time? Why keep praying again and again?
       Here’s my answer:
       Dear Joseph,
When you pray, you don’t change God’s mind.
When you pray, you change your mind. (He is never the effect. He is always the cause.)
              Why pray repeatedly?
The more you pray, the more you remove the fuzziness in your wish. The more you clarify your wish. And the more powerful your wish becomes.
                                                God bless,
Go ahead.
       Know what you want.
       And be unstoppable.
       May your dreams come true,
       Bo Sanchez

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